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……. tęsinys……

Chapter 6

Larry looked at the clock. It was ten in the morning. He was sitting in the kitchen at the breakfast table and was sipping apple juice. Externally he looked totally calm, though he was boiling inside. That weird feeling of trouble and some evil was floating around, but Larry could not identify the cause of such feelings.  He seemed about to start howling like a wolf in the forest outskirts because of pain and desperation, which had overtaken him from no quarter. Oh, he said in his mind, if only there would be someone who could understand what I feel… Where could I find comfort? If only I could get a hint, fins the reason of my despair…

Larry put his head in his arms. He was sitting like this for rather a long time. At last he got up on his feet and started walking around in the kitchen. While in the kitchen, he cast a glance at the food products. Why don’t I stiff my face? he thought. No, I can’t… I wouldn’t swallow at least bite. May be, singing would help? Larry paused. Of course, he spoke in his mind. Singing would finally make this terrible despair to disappear!

He poured another glass of juice and took it in one gulp. He went to his room, sat down on the sofa and played a few accords. The guitar did not require any adjustment, but the words stuck in his throat and he obviously could not sing. Still, that was all due to ill-fated despair.

It won’t work, he said to himself. Larry lay down on the sofa. He kept his ears open. Silence was reigning all over the room. If I get rid of this terrible feeling, I would be the happiest man in the world! Yes… Some time ago I said the same, when I wanted to meet Eva, and now… He gave a deep sigh. There is never too much of happiness for a man. Larry’s eyes were jumping on things in the room. Suddenly, his glimpse hit against the curtains. The guy stirred up and even sat up. Yesterday I saw and heard something in this place! What if it’s not a hallucination? What if it’s an inscription on the wall? What if it’s a portent? It seems I was told not to try to reduce the pain of my soul. And I cannot do it! Whatever I do, I cannot make this feeling disappear. Nothing is helpful… Even singing causes me despair…  A doorbell cut off his thoughts.

There was Arnold, standing in the doorway with a wide smile on his face. “Hi, are you ready?”

Only then did Larry remember. Today, he thought, is the race… I’ve totally forgotten about it!

“Larry,” his friend started again on tiptoe. “I’m talking to you… Hey…”

What, if this despair is due to the race, Larry was hit by an idea. What, if this is the reason? What if decide not take part in it, and I don’t think the world would get apart because of this…

“Hey, are you all right?” Arnold could not get back. 

Larry wanted to tell the truth, that he felt uneasy. He was about to tell this to his friend, but Arnold got ahead of him.

“I see, does that mean that you are starting the same story again?” Arnold teased him. 

Larry was upset. His friend looked so cheerful and overwhelmed by self-confidence. Do I have a right, Larry was thinking, to spoil his day? He is so willing to go there and become a winner, but without me… So is it, we have to win and we will, Larry finished his tirade of internal considerations.

“Yes, Arnold, I’m ready!” Larry strongly stated. When he said those words, a horrible pain pierced his chest, but Larry just set his teeth and confirmed again, “we will win this time!” 

“So, what are waiting for?” Arnold was enjoying it. “Let’s go!”

“Yes, Arnold, I have to move on,” Larry was looking for his shoes. “Aren’t we late yet?”

“We have heaps of time, old buddy, we are racers, aren’t we?”

But Larry did not feel relaxed, he preferred to be in a hurry. He was getting dressed hastily, put on his shoes. So, he was ready to go. He told his mother that he was going out, and then they hurried out discussing about the race. The mother did not ask and Lay did not detailed on where they were going. He did not want to cause any troubles for her. He preferred to tell her afterwards, when he would come back with laurels.

 

●○●

The coach was already waiting for them. The car was ready. 

Larry insensibly searched the viewing stands. He was looking for Eva. He expected her to comfort him a little before he start.

“Watch it, guys,” the coach said, getting into a stew. “No surprises. Everything has to go as we have agreed on. Don’t smile at me, Arnold. I’m serious. You have half an hour left.” 

“Okay, okay,” Larry champed. He had noticed Eva on the stands and he wanted to rush there. “I’ll be right back, just a couple of words with Eva…”  

“Why do you shuffle so much?” Arnold teased him, “Okay, okay, go ahead…”

“I’ll be right back,” Larry waved to Eva and ran down to her. He could fee tension all over his body likes before an exam. Despair had overwhelmed the whole of his body and sole. When he reached the girl, he embraced her and kissed. Still holding her tight, he looked up in her eyes. He wanted to burst into tears, but he held himself under control as much as he could. “I missed you so much, sweetheart. It’s so good to see you again!”  

“What’s wrong with you, Larry?” Eva could not understand his behavior. “Cut it out, people are watching us.”

Larry leaned back. He looked scared. He did not expect to receive such a reaction from Eva. “Darling, are you afraid of something?” he asked sadly. 

“No, Larry, I feel uneasy somehow…”

“Eva, please, wait for me. We’ll go somewhere after the race. May be, we’ll go to the sea or to the cafe. In other words, wherever you say… Please, wit for me, Eva.”

“All right, I will,” she answered looking around. 

“I don’t want to talk much now. I’ll see you later, because I have to go now. Everything will be okay, I promise,” Larry said after he noticed a shade of fear in Eva’s eyes and gave her one more kiss. “I’m sorry, Eva, it’s stronger than me.” Then he turned away and jogs jogging towards Arnold.

 

●○●

The guys were ready. Start. The coach waved a flag. The car shot forward.

“Take care,” Larry suggested to Arnold at the steering wheel, “Don’t overdo.”

“Yes, sir,” Arnold mumbled.

A glimpse of the viewers’ stands passed by, and then there was a road, a blinding blue sky and a path in the horizon.  

Arnold and Larry had the eighth position. The car marked with number two was flying ahead of them. They were strong competitors. After a few kilometers, they climbed up to the sixth position, and then near the tunnel Arnold took over the sixth car, which started releasing smoke. Later the guys had overtaken a few more competitors.

When there was seven hundred kilometers left, only fourteen racers continued the competition, because six cars had to leave the route due to breakdowns. The coach gave signals not to hurry up forward. The strongest competitor had left the race already because of his smoking engine, therefore, Arnold and Larry had a great potential to win the race, as their coach thought.

Eva saw the cue of cars racing by the stands. She also spotted the car with Arnold and Larry inside.  The roar of engines was not pleasant. The girl was waiting for the race to finish and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. She did not care who would become a winner – she loved him anyway, be him a winner or a looser.   

After one hour, the guys were in the third position already. Now they were catching up with the car marked by the number seven, which was in the second position.  They did not want to take over that car. They waited for a more convenient moment. They did not want to take a risk and expected the competitors to start getting nervous and make a mistake. The cars were driving at a high speed next to each other side by side. The competitors blocked the way. It was a very dangerous maneuver and the coach tried to give warning signs to the guys, but nothing helped. They have decided to become winners of that race at any cost. On such moments, a man becomes higher than his own body and sole, his senses become tensed and the mind maintained calm and sober. 

The race was going on. Arnold and Larry stopped to refill of fuel. When they returned to the race circuit, they noticed car number seven with two more cars behind it. In a while, that car started turning around like a whirligig and blocked the road. A sound of breaking metal could be heard and there was an oil pool spilled on the paving. The other two cars coming from behind smashed into that car, which due to the impact got up and made several turns in the air. Arnold was in fever trying to find a slightest gap and to be able to avoid the impact.  Suddenly, the road became incredibly narrow. The guys did not feel any fear, just they tried to avoid hitting another car in a vertical angle, and get at it at a tangent. They had to twist around the wheel, but it was too much for Arnold… Then there was a bang… The car got in the air. They had enough time to notice the supervisor’s horror-struck face, then the front part of the car got curled up and there was a shower of glass pieces from all sides.  At the same moment, the guys felt a powerful impact followed by absolute silence after that.

Larry’s and Arnold’s car was thrown away on the protection strip made of sand sacks. Their car made a hole in the car mix, so the other racers, which were lagging behind, passed by received the last impact whish. Their cars grated the scattered metal and it seemed that the smashed cars were groaning aloud.

The race was going on. The race participants got out from their smashed cars with almost no injuries. Larry’s and Arnold car was still standing on the sand sacks. Arnold‘s body, all covered in blood, was dropped on the steering wheel and did not move.  Larry was not seen through the car window, his body was somewhere on the car bottom. 

The crowed had surrounded the crash place like flies around a piece of bloody meat. They watched the medical personnel and mechanics, which were about to get the men from the car. One of the cars was on fire. Luckily, its fuel tank was in holes, so there was no threat of explosion. The works were impeded by the passing cars, since the race had not been stopped.  At last, the medical people hurried up to Larry.  

“I can do it myself,” the guy groaned.

“Don‘t act and don‘t try to get up! Your leg looks very bad!”

Larry‘s left leg was covered in blood; his pants were soaking wet with blood.

“Where is Arnold! What happened to him?” Larry cried out after he finally realized the situation. 

“He is fine, don‘t move. Soon the ambulance will pick you up.”

The car moved. Larry was lying down and watching the environment: metals box, side windows of the ambulance, though which some light could get inside. He did not feel any pain. His thoughts were scattered. Suddenly, he started feeling very weak and lack of air. 

“I‘m sick,” he complained to the doctor in the ambulance, “I‘m choking…”

Larry waited to be comforted, but the doctor kept silent. Am I really going to die? he got very scared. That thought seemed so unexpected. His eyes were running around madly, and there was the only thought hammering in his mind, Oh, Lord, is it so that I‘ll never see Eva again, that this is the last time I can see this world… Please, just not this… I don‘t want to die… I‘m too young… Eva and I, we want to be happy… We want to get married… Dear Lord, don‘t leave me alone… Don‘t let me to die… Please…

“Don‘t worry, you‘ll not die,” Larry‘s thoughts were cut by some voice. It sounded just like yesterday evening. After he heard the words, the guy came back to his feelings. Instinctively, he trusted the voice at one and relaxed. His breath became more even. He did not feel lack of air any more. Larry was definitely sure he would not die.  He had a promise.

In half an hour, he was undergoing an operation. 

 

●○●

It was not at once, that Eva realized what had happened. An excited commentator was holding the mike too close to his lips; therefore, his voice could not be heard distinctly. She clearly heard just a few phrases about car crash. Her heart was pierced by fear that it might have been Larry, but she tried to dismiss those troubled thoughts.  

She was waiting for the car cue to pass by. Her heart was beating so wild that she herself got scared. No need to worry, she was thinking. The race would have been stopped, if should something happen. I have to stay calm… She relaxed a little, when she saw the first car racers. This means, that nothing serious has happened! Her eyes searched for Larry’s and Arnold‘s car. Eva could not see the car. No, it can‘t be true! I must have missed it? She could feel weakness in her legs. Her heart seemed to jump out of her chest… They could pass by earlier, she continued her thinking, still observing the circle. I should have not left for that coffee…

Not the announcement was a little more distinct and it said that several cars got crashed and several people were injured. Details would be announced further on.  

All in tension, Eva watched the racing cars passing by at high speed, she expected to spot Larry and Arnold‘s car bearing number one. Suddenly, her mind was hit by the commentator‘s words. “Car number one got in an accident. The crew has been taken to hospital.” 

It can‘t be true! This must be a mistake, the girl tried to comfort herself, but her hopes scattered away. Larry got injured? She could not even remember how she got up and went towards the start line. I have to find out, what has happened to Larry. I have to… That was her only thought.

“Larry is in hospital,” that was all the coach told her turning his eyes away from the girl.  

“But what has happened,” she cried out in terrified voice.

She did not receive any answer. Both, the coach, and mechanics, which were handling spare parts, tried to avoid the conversation with her. They did not even try to comfort or calm her down. Eva felt so lonely. She stood like a dry tree among strong and green trees…

At last, the coach came up to her again. “Larry was immediately taken to the hospital. I think…”

“Why hasn’t somebody from your staff gone together with him! You should have helped him…”

The coach looked at her with surprise. “How could we help him? Now it‘s the doctor‘s call…”

Eva was upset. “What happened to him?” she asked silently. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen him,” the coach could explain anything, “I was on the track…”

“And why is the race going on?”

“There is nothing can be done,” the coach explained. “These are the rules. Go and see him, I’ll try to finish things here soon.” 

The coach fetched a chart and went to the trace, where the race was still on. Eva slowly turned towards the exit. It seemed to her that the whole eternity had passed till she reached the hospital. During that time, she made a promise to herself. She was sure that she would keep that promise and marry Larry, whatever would have happened. She gave that promise without any considerations, just on the spot.

 

●○●

The reception was empty. Eva rushed to a nurse in the duty post.

“Could you tell me,” she started talking, “if you have received a sportsman recently injured at the race?”

“Yes,” the nurse answered calmly, hardly rising her head from papers. “He is undergoing a surgery operation.”

“What is wrong with him?”

“Are you a relative?”

“No, but does it make any difference?”

“Only relatives are allowed to patients after the surgery,” she sounded indifferently.

The nurse returned to taking some notes down. Eva stared her in the face. May be, I should tell her that we are engaged? No, I don’t it will change her mind. Eva decided to inquire again, “Does he need an operation?”

“Obviously… Otherwise he would not have been taken to the surgery.”

The way she is, perhaps, cannot stand me, Eva thought in upset. “Can I wait here?” she asked in a hollow voice.

“Yes, there is a bench in the corridor,” the nurse answered without any jumps. She was still taking some notes in a case-record.

“Don’t you have a waiting room here?” 

The nurse extended her hand and showed towards the door and added, “But it is for relatives only, to be frank.”

Eva could hardly hold her in the hands. She wanted to cry out that at certain moments all people should feel relatives to each other.  And medical people should know that so well as no one else. Eva went to the waiting room. She tried to list through old magazines, but she could not concentrate. It seemed to her that an hour spent waiting there for any news about Larry had been extending for eternity and will never end.

After some time, the door of the waiting room opened. Eva automatically got on her feet, since she expected to hear some news about Larry, but there was a woman standing in the doorway. Perhaps, she is Larry’s mother, she thought. If that’s so, it will be two of us waiting here. We can comfort each other.

The woman looked around. Although there were just two of them in the waiting room, although there were a lot of free chairs, she picked up a seat close to Eva. Should I give it a try? Should I approach her? Eva was thinking. I guess she also needs some support. But what, if this is not her? What if I’m wrong? What will I say to her than? No.  I’d rather wait for a while. May be, she herself will start the talking.

For some time, they both sat silently. The nurse showed up in a few minutes. Eva’s heart started trembling. She jumped on her feet; however, the nurse did not take her into notice. She nodded to the woman inviting her out. Eva returned to her seat.

Is somebody going to tell me something about Larry? she thought in despair. How long more should I wait for it? What kind of operation is it? How long do I have to be in uncertainty?

Eva thought that she heard somebody mentioning Larry’s name behind the door. She kept her ears open. Suddenly, she rushed towards the door. She wanted to open it, but she changed her mind. She leaned against the door and stood still trying to listen to the conversation.

“We had to amputate his leg,” she heard somebody saying.

Eva could feel that it made her blood curdle. It can’t be true, she kept repeating. Eva leaned against the door with her back. She felt that could faint at any moment. What will Larry feel like?

“Doctor,” Eva heard the woman’s voice, “wasn’t they’re another way out?”

“We chose to save his life…”

Eva closed her eyes. Tears welled up in her eyes and ran down her face. I have to stay calm, she said to herself after she managed to get together. I have to find out more. She forced herself to concentrate.  

“Now he is under good supervision,” the doctor continued. “If everything goes fine, you’ll be able to see him in a week time.”

“And now what? Couldn’t I do this now?”

“No, it’s impossible now, because he is in the intensive care ward.”

“Larry might die? Dear Lord,” Eva whispered, “I won’t take it… I cannot stay here any longer, I have to find it out myself.” She listened again, but the voices had fallen silent. The girl could not hold it any longer. She opened the door right away and hurried out into the corridor: the doctor had taken that woman to his office. Eva did not know what to do. She suddenly stood stock-still. Eva saw Larry being taken out of the surgery. His face was pale and eyes were closed. He looked like dead, but his chest was slightly moving up and down. Larry, my darling, she spoke in her mind, keep on fighting! Don’t give up! You have to take over… I won’t make it without you… Hold on, my love… Hold your own… Eva saw Larry’s mother say goodbye to the doctor. The doctor gave her his telephone number and she left. 

Eva could not take it any longer and she approached him. “I need to see Larry! Please, doctor… It’s very important for me…”

“Who are you? Are you a relative?”

“No, I’m just a close acquaintance.”

“Acquaintance,” the doctor said slowly. “I am sorry, I have to disappoint you. It’s impossible now. If everything goes well, you are welcome in a week time. Of course, if his relatives do not mind it. I have to go now, I’m sorry.”

Eva stood there alone. She remembered Larry’s kiss right before the race, about their premarital trip and their dream to get married secretly. She felt such a pain in her heart, such emptiness in her sole, that she did not want anything in the world. It hurt. The girl was sobbing. It seemed that all her dreams had been smashed into smithereens. 

“Why are you crying? Do you know how is Larry? What happened to him? Speak to me…” the coach, who had suddenly emerged from somewhere, kept asking.   

Eva wiped her nose and tears.

“Tell me quicker, how bad he is…” the coach begged, shaking her by the shoulders. 

“He’s alive, but he is very weak, and his left leg… his left leg was amputated,” her answer was hardly heard.

The coach let Eva free. The shade of fear had faded away. There was some hope.

“He will be fine, he will make it,” the coach was comforting may be himself, or Eva. “He is sportive, you’ll see, he’ll make it. In terms of leg, he’ll put on a prosthetic appliance and will be dancing at his wedding party… When I saw you crying I thought of the worst that might have happened… This is not a big deal. Edna is in much worse situation…”

“What’s happened to Edna?” Eva did not get it.

“Arnold died, when Larry was on the way to hospital.” 

“Dead?” Eva could not believe it. 

“Yes, he didn’t make it…” there were tears in the coach’s eyes, “poor Arnold…”

“Oh my God,” Eva said in a frightful voice, “what a misfortune… Does Larry know about it? He would not be able to take it…”

“I don’t think he does. And there is no need for him to know this for some time. Let him get out of it first,” the coach fatherly put his hand on Eva’s shoulder. “So, it’s not so bad in this case. Larry has to make it… And now, let’s go and see how he is doing.”

“We’ll be not let in there,” Eva sighed. “The doctor said, that we would be able to visit him in a week, if everything goes well.”

“Let’s hope it will exactly like this,” the coach paused and corrected himself. “Everything must be all right. Waiting is the only thing that remains for us.”

Yes… Eva thought. She could not properly orient in the situation. Arnold is gone, Larry is badly wounded… so many tragedies at the very instant… What a terrible day! And what about Edna? What shall she do? She loved Arnold do much… Eva stood motionless and stared into space. She had no more tears. There were just thoughts and a great pain in her heart.

“Listen here,” Eva heard the coach’s voice. “If you like, I can give you a ride home. Since we are not allowed to see Larry, there is no need for us to stay here.”

“Yes… Thanks for your kind thought of me.”

In an hour, Eva was lying in her bed already. Different sounds were coming inside through the window: tree rustle reminded of her neighbors’ gloating whisper, a cheerful laugh echoed somewhere in the distance and a familiar melody could be heard. Eva got startled. That was the most popular Larry’s song! Again, she was flooded by wave of memories. She remembered his tender smile, his unrepeatable look on the first day they met. It was the fate that brought us together, she thought, we couldn’t loose each other like this… I have to go and see Larry right away and tell that I love him, that my love has become even stronger. It doesn’t matter that he has lost his leg. The most important thing is that he survives. Eva’s decision even added strength to her. Definitely, I am going to see him tomorrow. It doesn’t matter, if it’s permitted or not. I’ll find a way to get there. I must do this.

……bus daugiau…. 

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